been feeling kinda stressed out lately.
recession period especially.
hard to get a part time job out there...
all those people who got retrenched are going job hopping now..
taking up the part time spaces.
jobless,moneyless!
money makes the world go round.
in fact,i think money makes the world shaped like a ball,round.

been hanging out with phin lately.
he has problems of his own and i have problems myself.

been riding out late recently.
can't seem to find peace in the afternoon/evening/night.
i'm confused myself.

been wanting to get myself a new ride.
can't get a job due to no vacancy.
god damn the fcuking recession.

been raining these past few days,
been frustrating and nagging about the rain pouring down.
coz i can't ride...even past midnight due to wet grounds.

been feeling...fcuked up?
people around me leaving...
they do,always do...
come and go,like a provision shop.
nothing they like,leave.
they don't stick around to find out what's in store.

once told,never to loose contact of one another.
of course i didn't loose their contact number..but the contact's lost.
get it?

thanks,hope you burn in hell.

i actually have no intention to blog at all today.
seriously.
but its because of my dad's freaking naggings,i had to.
coz i had no one to turn to.
can't depend on my mom coz she couldn't bothered.
you can't depend on her,even if your life's in danger.
look,i don't mean to insult but i just had enough of this.
i want a different and a better understanding family.
unlike this bullshit...


the last time he told me that he couldn't care less about me no more.
so he ignored me.
i took his words literally.he thought i wouldn't have the guts to do anything.

so,i treated my house like a hotel.
that fustrates him.
wait,but i thought he said he couldn't care anymore??

as for today,i was about to go out an find a job.
out of the blue,he told me to stay home.
saying i couldn't be trusted.
same question popped in my mind,
i thought he couldn't care anymore??

now what the freaking fcuk is this huh??
don't you have better things to do than to entertain this useless(like you said) son of yours?damn it.

(go die la,seriously..i don't think i 'll show up for your funeral)

i hate it when someone promises you something..but in the end,breaks it.
its like a slap to the face ya know.

for example,
"i don't give a damn about what your gonna do now or then.its up to you.i can promise you i won't do anything to stop you!"

here's a big FCUK right in your face!
i'm full of lies?who's the bullcrap now huh??

if i stay home and rot,you get angry.
i go out to get a JOB AND NOT TO DO ANYTHING ELSE,you get angry.
i'll tell you what,get a grave and rest in peace.
i'm sure i won't be able to annoy you.
your happy,i'll be happier.
both parties win,sounds good right??

frigging fcukface,
i'm 18 damn it.
what are you to me?a father?
your behaviour is not my definiton of a father.
go find a son that suits your aspects.


all this,out of ego.
it hurts me to see my own flesh and blood.
i regret the times i felt sorry,i felt pity for you.
but i guess its just my genetics.


i can't wait for NS.
i can't wait to leave him.
but i'll definitely miss my family.

whoever reads this,what you think of me,its your problem alright?

see the one on the left?
well,i miss her fcuking loads.
its been a long time since i last saw her face.
what the hell do i care?
why do i even let people stereotype me?
if you guys think its pathetic,then that's just your dang business aint it now?

most of all,the memories we shared,engraved on my heart.
i can name every incident that took place.
so what if i still have feelings for her?
its non of you people's problem.
what i am going through right now,is very different from a normal boy-girl relationship.
it ain't monkey love.
it was true love.
that's why,till now,i'm mesmerized.
if only people could understand how i feel..
then this post wouldn't be pathetic.
i will wait,no matter how long it takes.
cause time is on my side.

this morning,out of the blue,all of a sudden,you gave me a text msg.
i was shocked of course.
thought you might have forgotten me or even worse,hate me for what i did to you previously.
at least i got to know how are you and what your going through.
it relieves my heart a bit.
i have more questions to ask,yet i was stoned cause i couldn't think straight.
all i could say,i miss you dearly.
stay safe,don't find trouble while serving time in hostel.

iwantyou
imissyou

ihavenothingelsetosay.

i owe it all to you

aqueous transmission

remembering you...

remember this?
i use to edit this photo.
it has you right by me.
i still recall,it was my display pic on my old phone.
sudden thoughts of you came back tonight.
i don't even know why.
only god knows how i feel at the moment.
look at yourself in the mirror.
and tell yourself that your beautiful because its true.
look at how amazing you are..
i'm mesmerized,till now.
cupid got a bulls-eye.
i'm trying to pull out the arrow,bit by bit.
till she came along,
at first,i thought i could do it with a lil help.
but turns out,it's still stuck.
i realised even if she was mine,it's still there.
no one can replace you i guess.
your awesome on both sides.
why do i keep harping on the past?
questions only the wise can answer.
i can't get it myself.
memories are powerful rays.
strong enough to penetrate anything.
nothing that can be deviced will be able to withstand it.
hypocrite i am?big fat lyer you are.
we both have flaws.
i miss you dearly.
and i'm sorry for whatever that happened.
sorry's never enough,i know.
but that's just the way it has to be.
because you wouldn't wanna face me at all.

well,slacked at resv till late.

shortest post ever!

=D